Two by Two

Accidents happen. In the past two months, I've found myself in two car accidents. The first in Haiti, and now, the second one here in Montana where I totaled my car on the interstate just a few days ago.

Since the beginning of 2010, I've had many experiences to help keep my life and it's blessings in perspective. I personally feel, like I've gone through quite a journey of enlightenment since January and came out on the right side with a good attitude. I am a happy, blessed person who is thankful on a daily basis for where my path in life has taken me at the current time. Work, Haiti, personal relationships and family have all played a large role in this.

So, my question now is, why did I need another experience? I feel I am living life as it was intended for me, so why did I have to be in a car accident that could have ended my life? All people who have seen my car say they are amazed I walked away from it with minor injuries. Sure, I have bumps, bruises, cuts, aches, pains, and probably a mild concussion, but I am walking & talking and not in a hospital bed. And, I am alive.

They tell me I am supposed to write or journal about my accident. That it's supposed to make me feel better. I just want to return to Friday and make the whole accident go away - if only I'd of stopped at Wheat Montana for lunch, if only I'd of left Helena a few minutes later, if only I'd of just run over that stupid tarp instead of swerving to miss it, you can imagine the amounts of 'if only's' in my head. I didn't need another damn wake up call in life, so why I am still having them? Really, I've had enough. I'm not ready to leave this earth, and obviously it's not my time, so just give up already!